


only a girl knows how a girl feels

by lolohannah



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: (because it's vm...duh), Comfort Sex, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Jealousy, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 15:15:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17205788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolohannah/pseuds/lolohannah
Summary: “You get her every day, Moir,” Ashley answers tightly. Tessa can hear the faux pout in her voice and it almost makes her smile again. “Tonight she’s mine.”//aka Tessa finds solace in the arms of a friend in Paris





	only a girl knows how a girl feels

**Author's Note:**

> I work on VM fics all damn year and I'm unable to finish anything, and yet a couple of weeks fawning over Wagtue and I'm actually publishing something in 2018 after all haha. This is unbeta'd, because I'm honestly too anxious to send it to anyone and I wanna just get it out into the world. 
> 
> I find it so funny that I wanted at one point to be the 1000th VM fic posted to ao3 and instead ended up being the first Wagtue.
> 
> Title is from 'Only A Girl' by Gia which came up on Spotify a fair few times while I was writing this and felt hella appropriate.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You look like you could use a drink.”

A wine glass slides into view and Tessa’s knocked out of her faraway despondence, her eyes flickering up to meet the generous owner. Her own tentative, wistful smile is met with a soft jubilant one.

“Thanks. Scott was gonna get me one but…” she trails off and shrugs.

“But somebody threw a ball in his direction and he had to play fetch?” Tessa laughs softly and watches the way Ashley smiles in satisfaction, arching an eyebrow to keep the humorous tone going. Tessa expects her to slide into one of the unused chairs surrounding the table but instead, she places a hand gently on Tessa’s shoulder. Her touch stirs something in Tessa that’s been left dormant for far too long and it only increases as her palm trails slowly down her arm, pinpricks of electricity leaving a trail of goosebumps in its path. Ashley gives her a solid nudge to scoot over so they can share her seat, bodies pressed together from shoulder to knee.

Ashley takes a gulp of wine before tilting towards Tessa a bit more. “You seem sad.” A vulnerable twinge in Tessa’s body makes her feel exposed and naked and she looks down, a few strands of hair falling from behind her ear. Ashley makes a gentle, comforting noise that Tessa’s surprised she can hear over the background noise and slides her hair back into place tenderly. “I know sharing any of your demons can be scary, especially to someone who wants to kick your ass come the Olympics…” Tessa can’t help but laugh quietly, bringing the glass to her lips, “but if you need to get anything off your chest...”

Tessa snorts into her wine mid-sip. Ashley rubs her back as she coughs slightly, an amused but confused expression on her face. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just... wardrobe malfunction.” Tessa raises her glass in a toasting motion. “Enough has already gotten off my chest this week.”

“Darn. Free?” Tessa nods. “That sucks. Your dress was gorgeous. It really made your eyes pop.” Tessa winces and rests her head on Ashley’s shoulder, shaking her head minutely. “Oh. He said that too.”

She sighs, emotions she’s compartmentalized and repressed overtaking without permission. “I shouldn’t talk about this.”

“Sometimes you need to.” Ashley’s arm tightens around her and for the first time in god knows how long she feels safe and warm. “Hey, we’ve all seen your exhibition. From one actress to another, I know when it comes from something real.” She clinks their glasses together. “I don’t think either of you are letting yourselves really _feel_ it, though. And maybe that means it’s too real.”

Tessa sucks in a small breath and nuzzles her face into Ashley’s neck. She’s right. _Stay_ is a vehicle for their emotions this year but just like with everything else, there’s a disconnect. A pinnacle they can’t quite reach. “There’s just...so much, y’know? And I don’t want to keep hurting. I wanna feel free.” She’s so tired of being rattled. Arctic Edge is like navigating landmines of Marina, Meryl and Charlie, filming for the documentary, Scott’s mood swings, their inconsistent levels and a Free Dance they pretend they don’t hate. One wrong foot and everything blows up in her face. She feels like somebody’s strapped a metal pole to her spine and forced her out onto a tightrope. If she stops internalizing and pushing herself for even a second she’ll be a broken mess on the ground below, jeering crowd lapping up the downfall of one of “Canada’s sweethearts”.

“Free, you say? That can be arranged,” Ashley responds cheerfully, downing the rest of her wine in one gulp before putting her empty glass on the table. Gesturing for Tessa to do the same, she follows the blonde’s lead and then Ashley’s hand is in hers and she’s being dragged out onto the dance floor. This is what she needs— dancing that has nothing to do with the Finnstep or _Seasons_ or even Scott. She’s barely been hearing the music until now, it’s as if she’s been underwater and Ashley’s hand has pulled her up to the surface again.

It feels so good to move unchoreographed. Tessa lets the music guide her, shoulders and hips swaying in harmony. With every song her and Ashley navigate closer and closer towards each other until something sultry starts up and Ashley wraps her arms around Tessa’s shoulders, bringing them into their own little alcove of sweet sensuality.

Tessa’s smile is relaxed until the very moment Scott comes up behind her and all of the hairs on the back of her neck rise to attention. She can _always_ feel him. “T, can we talk?” he murmurs and Ashley’s hold around her tightens defensively. Tessa’s foot is suddenly caught in a net or an abundance of seaweed, the need to paddle and kick away only resulting in a sharp tightening around her ankle as she’s dragged back under the surface again. She’s suddenly spun around to face Scott, her back pressed to Ashley’s front and the blonde’s hands looped over her shoulders and across her heart.

“You get her every day, Moir,” Ashley answers tightly. Tessa can hear the faux pout in her voice and it almost makes her smile again. “Tonight she’s mine.” Tessa’s head snaps up just in time to see Scott’s jaw clench before he disguises it and then she tilts back into Ashley, heads nuzzling together. It’s possessive in a way that makes her feel wanted, not owned, and that’s everything she needs at that moment.

Tessa’s hands come up to hold onto Ashley’s forearm, feeling the soft skin and defined muscle underneath. The power she possesses that Tessa knows is mirrored to some extent in her own body is comforting. It reminds her how strong she is— how strong they all are at no expense of being sexy and beautiful and desirable. “Tomorrow,” she urges, snuggling into Ashley before she can see the desperation she knows is in his eyes. It’s plainly obvious why he’s been gone for so long. That he’s been burying himself in Cassandra in an attempt to find relief. She knows that’s not what he needs though. If she hadn’t been down here, he’d be sneaking into her room and spilling every thought that pops into his head until he’s purged himself of his damage and she’s soaked it all up like a sponge. Tonight is, rightfully, _hers_. Every other day this season has been consumed by him and what she can do to make them work— but not tonight.

When her eyes blink open again Scott is gone and Tessa takes a deep breath, letting the tension flow out of her and into the solid support pressed against her. Ashley gives her a praising kiss on the cheek and a relieved giggle flows unrestrained out of her mouth. In a flurry of movement, Patrick speeds by and shoves another glass of wine into Tessa’s hand with a cheerful grin. There appears to be enough light shining from him to power the whole city— which is understandable considering he won the Gold by over thirty points.

“Oi, Chiddy! Where’s mine?” Ashley calls to him, affronted.

Patrick shrugs innocently and shouts back, “I only have two hands!” before disappearing into the throng of skaters with his own drink.

Ashley grumbles and Tessa smiles, turning around to face the frowning blonde whose hands are now pressed wonderfully into her hips, gently guiding them to the music. Mid-season drinking is frowned upon but what their coaches won’t know won’t get them in trouble, even if they’re all lightweights at this point. “It’s okay, I’ll share it with you,” Tessa placates, taking a sip before proffering the glass for Ashley to have some.

Except Ashley doesn’t take a sip from the glass. Instead, she wraps a hand around Tessa’s neck and drags her in until she’s sipping the wine straight from her lips. A thrum ricochets through her body like shrapnel, sparking out everywhere but particularly down to her core, a slickness forming that makes her thighs instinctively clench together. “Mmm,” Ashley hums as she pulls away, “so generous.” Tessa feels her cheeks bloom hot pink, only vaguely disguised by the low light of the room.

Trying to hide the nervous shaking in her hand Tessa lifts the glass up to Ashley’s lips, their eyes locked as she takes a confident sip. Tessa feels sweat forming along her hairline, her feet fidgeting inside her heels, her fingertip slipping on the condensation of the glass. With an intoxication that is probably only one part alcohol and three parts desire, Tessa’s eyes blink slowly as she watches the beautiful woman standing before her with her lips wrapped around the rim of the glass. This time when the glass is lowered Tessa is the one to lean in and press her mouth to the other woman’s, the wine so much sweeter from Ashley than it was when she drank it herself. One hand grasping the fabric of Tessa’s dress and the other tangled in her dark hair, Ashley takes control of the kiss knowing she’s receptive now. She feels floaty but tethered simultaneously. It’s everything she didn’t know she needed. Ashley tastes like skating used to feel. Before everything got so messed up and she could only associate it with work and hardship. One hand clutching the glass between them, Tessa lets the other trail lightly across Ashley’s waist and up to the point where the fabric of her dress meets skin. She feels cool but electrifyingly warm in a way Tessa doesn’t understand, like when your hands perish in freezing weather but burn hot and bright, tingling until they regain proper feeling.

Ashley’s the one to break away first, pressing another quick peck to Tessa’s lips before she separates. With foreheads touching and breaths loud and frazzled, they’re suspended within the moment before Tessa starts to panic about their very public display. Ashley shushes her immediately, trying to dissuade her growing worry. “Everybody’s drunk— if they saw, they won’t remember.”

“And if they do?” Tessa whispers.

“Then we provided them with a fantasy they won’t believe is real.” Ashley smirks and Tessa giggles. “Hey, you room alone now, right?” Her tone is casual, almost conversational, but her eyes are dark and full of intent.

Flashes of possibilities flood Tessa’s mind until she feels drunker than ever with lust coursing through her veins. Her tongue actually gets shocked into stillness for a few moments, unable to form a proper response. She just nods her agreement.

“Yeah?” Ashley smiles, eyes catching the low light in a way that makes them glisten and sparkle far brighter than the medal that was hanging around her neck earlier.

“Y-Yeah,” Tessa stutters, finally finding her voice. And she’s saying yes to more than just the logistics of her rooming situation. She’s saying yes to it all.

“Come on then.” Ashley intertwines their fingers and pulls Tessa along, their heels clacking melodiously along the floor as they go. Nobody looks twice, nobody except for Scott who is slumped in an armchair in the lobby, his head lifting when he spots Tessa. She only glances at him for a second before gripping Ashley’s hand tighter, her other hand coming up to curl around the girl’s bicep as she pushes their bodies closer in an unmistakable message. Tessa thinks she hears him mutter “Fuck” under his breath, but she doesn’t care enough to try and figure out the inflection.

The elevator doors open immediately and Tessa presses the button for her floor and then the button to close the doors hastily. “Nice,” Ashley’s sultry voice murmurs, smugness apparent. Tessa’s blush returns a little, embarrassed at being caught so eager. Ashley chuckles deeply and pulls Tessa into the circle of her arms, her back to the blonde’s front again. Holding her tightly, Ashley trails soft kisses from the back of Tessa’s neck and towards her ear. “Look at us.”

Tessa’s head lifts, her eyes focusing on their reflection in the elevator mirror that covers the entirety of the back wall. They look beautiful. With Ashley’s chin tucked into the nook between her shoulder and neck and her arms wrapped around her body, fingers tracing the seams of her dress with a thoughtful tease, they make a picture perfect moment. Tessa lifts one of Ashley’s hands from her body, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. She hopes it conveys the gratitude in her chest that has been steadily building over the course of the night. She blinks back a couple of tears.

She doesn’t know how Ashley can sense her mood, but the woman turns Tessa around to face her and puts her hand firmly on her cheek. “Hey there, pretty girl.” Her eyes are so kind and affectionate that Tessa would really just like to stare at them for hours until everything starts to make sense again. Ashley’s lips curve up soothingly and she pulls her in with a resounding surety that makes Tessa’s heart sing like the dawn chorus. Their lips brush for the briefest of moments before the elevator dings signalling Tessa’s floor, and Ashley giggles into her mouth so brightly that Tessa can’t help but follow.

She doesn’t remember them walking along the hallway or sliding her room key into the door. She doesn’t remember toeing her shoes off or whether it was her or Ashley who released her hair from its fraying up-do. She doesn’t remember what time the digital clock was blinking when she glanced at it.

What she remembers is Ashley.

Moonlight shining through the curtains and giving her skin a pale blue glow. Sliding the shoulders of her dress down and kissing along tops of her breasts. Sucking a kiss into the spot right where her heart thumps beneath the surface.

Ashley flipping her over, the loud sound of her zipper as the teeth unwind from one another and the fabric falls away mixed with the noise of their shallow breaths. Ashley’s soft lips pressed exquisitely to her spine while she whispers sweet nothings about her strength and grace and power. Ashley’s weight on top of her while her mouth envelops her own before treasuring her cheeks, her neck, her breasts, and any other skin she can reach.

Sitting on folded legs beside her, Ashley asks, “What do you want?”

Tessa blinks dazedly up at her. “Anything.” _Everything_ . Anything that makes her feel normal again. Everything that she’s worked tirelessly for. She wants another gold medal. She wants Scott to prove that he needs her in his life for more than just skating. When it’s over, she wants to feel satisfied. She wants to be able to _breathe_.

“What do you want right now, sweetie?”

Tessa thinks for a few moments, her finger absentmindedly tracing circles on Ashley’s abs and she feels the muscles flex every so often when she hits a particularly sensitive spot. With a smirk emerging little by little on her face, Tessa skims her hand further down towards the juncture of Ashley’s legs. “Up,” she whispers, hoping Ashley understands the simple direction. She tugs on her outer thigh to try and get her point across. Ashley lifts up onto her knees. “Wider,” she directs again, and Ashley’s knee slides along the bed, opening herself up more. “I want to make you come.” She wants to be responsible for that. To be the one who can set off fireworks so extraordinary that Ashley can’t even remember her own name or how to form sentences.

Tessa slips her hand between Ashley’s legs and dips her finger between the folds, smiling when she finds the wetness already there and seemingly increasing by the second. She slides her finger back and forth glacially, alternating between the lightest press of her fingertip breaching her opening and a solid push against her clit as she travels back up. Ashley makes little breathy moans and whimpers in her throat that sends wetness pooling between Tessa’s own thighs.

Ashley’s hand flies to Tessa’s shoulder for support as the speed of her movements increases in small increments. With each pass over her, Tessa’s finger goes a little deeper, flicks against that sweet spot just a couple more times.

“Leave your edges o-on the ice, huh?” Ashley jokes, her hips beginning to rock against Tessa’s hand. Tessa laughs lowly and without warning enters her with two fingers this time, crooking her fingertips against her wall. Ashley releases a startled moan, head falling backwards and blonde hair flying beautifully towards her back like a model in a slow-motion shampoo commercial.

Before Ashley can enjoy it too much, Tessa extracts her fingers and goes back to her regular journey for a few more strokes. The blonde is just about to whine in frustration when Tessa digs her finger hard into the spot just south of her clit, not enough to bring satisfaction but she knows, even though her hand is still, that more wetness gushes from her lover.

Nonchalantly, Tessa finally brings her attention solely to the spot that will inevitably push Ashley over the edge. She rotates her finger in quick counter-clockwise circles against her and Ashley moans but not as emphatically as Tessa would expect or like. Switching to a clockwise motion leaves Ashley panting, her eyes clenched shut in pleasure. “All about that clockwise rotation.” Tessa giggles.

“Shut up,” Ashley rebuffs, an amused smile on her lips and a gentle frown on her forehead as she chases her orgasm. Tessa leaves Ashley’s clit, much to the other girl’s disgruntlement, and thrusts her fingers inside her opening once again. A steady rhythm that Tessa accentuates by taking hold of Ashley’s hip and guiding her to rock against her. The other girl bears down on her hand so hard she’s clenching and dripping all the way down to Tessa’s wrist.

Finally giving her what she needs, Tessa keeps her fingers inside her and brings her thumb to rub quickly at her clit. Ashley’s chest heaves with the effort to get enough air into her lungs as she climbs higher and higher. Tessa leans forward, wrapping her lips around a nipple that has been sorely neglected from her attention, and sucks hard before twirling her tongue around and around, flicking the tip. Ashley lets out a small scream, body bouncing as she spasms and clenches around Tessa’s fingers inside her. She brings her other hand to Ashley’s hip, steadying her when her thighs start to tremble with the effort of holding herself up.

“Goddess,” Ashley mutters, falling into Tessa, hands grabbing at either side of her jaw and claiming a passionate kiss from her lips, tongue flicking against tongue in a grateful caress. Pride swells in Tessa’s chest and seeps through her extremities like bright sunlight emerging from behind a thick cloud. Ashley peppers kisses across her skin as though she’s both thanking and cherishing her at once. Before she knows it, the blonde is situated between her thighs and flipping her legs up, folding Tessa onto herself.

Ashley positively devours her. The foreplay of getting the other girl off has left Tessa needy and desperate for release, and so she goes into a sort of trance while Ashley goes to work, lips and tongue taking her to a different plain entirely. There’s a persistent thrum of pleasure buzzing through Tessa that wipes out any trace of worry or doubt or pain she’s felt during the week. The new French team who nearly ran into them in practice. Scott ignoring her in front of the TV cameras and making her do all the work. Cassandra up in the stands looking bored and waiting for the first opportunity to get out of the arena and enjoy _her_ favourite city. _Her favourite place_ . Scott’s self-deprecating melancholy caused by Marina chewing him out for no reason. His somber eyes on the dance floor when she _finally_ shut him down. Tessa tries to focus on the gold. The gold that hung around her neck. The gold of Ashley’s hair when she made her come. The gold at the edges of her vision as her cunt clenches around Ashley’s fingers and tongue. She hears a noise in the distance and doesn’t realize until she’s come down from the high, Ashley stroking her hair comfortingly, that the sound came from her.

“Wow.”

“I’ll say.” Ashley laughs, pressing her mouth to Tessa’s and she can taste herself on her lips. An aftershock flutters through her body and makes her toes curl against the bedsheets.

Tessa nuzzles against her, bodies pliable and sated if a little sweaty. “Thank you, angel.” They wrap themselves around each other, uncaring of the stickiness of their skin. Ashley shivers and Tessa grabs the sheet, pulling it tightly around them like a layer of protection from the outside world.

“Feel better?” Ashley asks, kissing her nose.

Tessa sighs, but so differently to the way she did at the start of the evening. “Completely.”

“He thinks you’re a puzzle piece, y’know? That you’re just one facet of this. He doesn’t realize you’re the essential cog that keeps everything in motion. That the world doesn’t turn without you.” Ashley strokes a fingertip down her cheek and Tessa tries and fails not to cry, a tear leaking out of her eye and dripping across the bridge of her nose.

“Okay.”

Ashley smiles almost sadly and moves her hand to Tessa’s back, palm firm and reassuring as if imparting emotional strength. “He’ll be back. When he realizes, he’ll be back,” her tone drops to a whisper, “and he won’t make it up to you like he should, but—“

Tessa’s hand tightens on the other girl’s waist knowingly. “But it’ll be enough for me to take him back. Because I always do.”

“Because it’s Scott, honey.” Ashley pulls her into a hug, chin tucked over her shoulder. “And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you weak. You’re always at your best when you’re strong together. And I only want to beat the best at the Olympics.”

Tessa pulls back, a wry smile breaking across her lips. “You don’t stand a chance.”

Ashley chuckles joyfully. “There she is.”

With a hand over the other girl’s heart, Tessa drops her voice hoping her sincerity is properly conveyed. “Thank you, for everything.”

She nods. “See you at the Final?”

Tessa’s phone trills somewhere in the distance, muffled inside her clutch. But just like when he walked up behind her tonight, she always knows when it’s Scott. Ashley and she both roll their eyes in exasperation. “Depending on how things go, I might need you.” And that would be a terrifying thing for Tessa to admit to any man, but with Ashley, things are so uncomplicated. They’ve forged a bond without games or politics. Nothing is dependent on them, nothing changes by them finding solace in one another, nothing is too heavy or too much. It’s a lonely sport, and Tessa knows people find them intimidating, so to have this? It feels pure. Untarnished.

“Anytime, T.”

Another sweet taste of her mouth and Ashley leaves, swishing back to her room before her roommate thinks too much of her absence. Tessa sleeps better than she has all season.

When she sees Scott the next day, the awkwardness is palpable and most definitely not conducive to a good working relationship. She envelops him in a solid hug, feeling him relax into her the way he does in their connection right before they skate, the only time he ever seems calm this season. “Together,” Tessa whispers in his ear, more for his benefit than her own.

“Together,” he repeats, hand clutching at her for a moment. It feels loaded but now is just _not_ the time. They’ll get there again.

They always do.

**Author's Note:**

> So if you follow me on Tumblr, you might already have guessed who I am. If not, the only hint is that I make a lot of gifs lol. Feel free to comment here or pop into my askbox!


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